The Penultimate Irony...

okie...it might be saying a bit too much...but it sounded deep to me!

I just realised another painful irony...with which apparently my life is full of!
Pardon the strained effort to seem forlorn....this is the first time I'm blogging from college...yeah,finally got a comp all for myself..albeit,the wait-state queue is almost overflowing!

umm...last sem around,I managed to score 46 on 50 in FAFL internals comfortably surpassed my previous best of 38.I did not,in the process of being gung-ho about this,realise that this cause for happiness will eventually come and kick me right back in the ass.
You see,I flunked it.I flunked the one subject in which I managed to reach my all-time best internal average in...the irony of this is plain sickening.

Back to being happy now..
Cheers,
Moi

Eavesdropping pays!

I know I'll always remain everyone's favourite whipping-boy...partly,cos I'm gullible and partly cos' I like to take the blame...makes me feel more responsible!

But there've been nice things said about me...which I've overheard.Some make me go woozy,others kinda confuse me.

Check some out..
"I like the way his goatee always juts out more to the right side."

"How is he so single! "

"Man,he runs fast.I bet he can give Forrest Gump a run for his money". ( I can only assume the pun was intended...muuaaah! )

"That was genuinely funny"

"whoa,who's the cutey" ( This rarely happens...said by para-blind,culturally semi-sophisticated people! )

"How is he so single!"

aaw...thanks,you guys...I always end up feeling woozy!

lol..I was on VV.Puram road today...oh yes,it should really be named Food Street!
A sooper variety in food ranging from deep south-Indian to continental!

What amused me was a stall that claimed to have chinese food..
My consensus:
Gobi 'Manchurian' will eternally remain the Indian pseudo-urbanite's idea of Chinese cuisine!

Inexplicable quote no. 323:

"If not for metal,I'd probably be languishing in boxy canteens eating Vaangi Bath out of plastic tiffin boxes."
-Vocalist of reputed local metal band.
Its hard to say whether he meant metal as in Iron...or metal as in Iron Maiden!

I seem to be spending a lot of time on the John these days.Yeah,its weird...but I donno..being on it kinda makes you achieve a higher level of clarity in thought.
Its almost as if you wear a thinking cap,albeit at the wrong end!

Anyway,I thought I'll say this cos' I finally outlined a bunch of alternate careers i could plausibly flourish in....and I managed to do this sitting on the John once what I couldn't do off it for the whole of the past week!

Get a load of this:
Food Critic

Film Critic ( atishoo...I almost put this down as Phlegm Critic! )

Music Journalist

Newsreader for Headlines Today ( yes,alongside SMRITI RAO!! )

Rj ( looks remain low-profile..sadly..;) )

Multimedia Consultant ( hey,some of my engg stuff can be put to use )

.....or I could be those lucky paid audiences in stand-up comedy shows..and probably play soccer part-time. so,I'm still countin...!

Gazillionth Toilet Catastrophe

Nothing quite pisses me off than this. First thing in the morning,I grab the newspaper...and highly lethargic and groggy-eyed hit the John.
Everything's going well......until you turn on the faucet...you think water's gonna come out from where you think it will,but hey presto..you've regulated it the wrong way..and shower's turned on.
First you get all drenched ( cold water's KILLIN' )..and then you try to curb the tragedy by putting up the paper above your head.
Needless to say,the rest of your day is highly parent-abused as a result of the latter!

Twisted feet...twisted mind

Its official!
I can now do four step-overs and two 360s without feeling giddy!
yey..thx to Ronaldinho...hail Barcelona!

More Proof I'm A DORK!

As if to provide more proof that I'm a complete dork,my conscience has decided that dancing can never ever be my idea of enjoyment...we had a fresher's pardie thing today at this club...i just happened to dislike dancing so much more than I did last year...I can only go downwards from here...*sighs*

Dogging the limelight

Just feeling the irrepressible need for self-reproach..here goes...

People who know me will tell you I'm another glorified victim of limelight-o-phobia.I completely detest the cynosure and its dandy vicinity.Its probably one of the reasons why I often feel scared out of my wits that all my channels to my 'clever' thinking are highly inconspicuous...that I'm just watching my life drift from the sidelines...with dangerous passivity.

Despite all the efforts to strive towards impeccability in language,the urge to enlighten and be enlightened and all feelings of this kind,I've hardly ever found myself on stage...debating about stuff...elocute..or even compere!
I recently had a fabulous oppurtunity to be on air,courtesy Adz who actually recommended me to an established RJ ( damn near at least ) as an interesting person to discuss metal with! As you can see,it was all SERVED of a friggin platter!Needless to say,I let it go...ugh,I loathe myself!


cool,I'm already felt better...ignore this blogspace...rest assured..no condescending comments for the time being!

Wicked Guitar person 

ZOOMing on all the cheesy stuff!

It is just too powerful to be a coincidence that the 'psychic' in an astrology chat show on a channel like Zoom is so stunningly beautiful!
I thought about this twice myself to understand the discern in this!

B-L-ah!

Surfing yesterday night was arguably the most gratifying web-time I've spent in the recent past...Its strange what acute joblessness can do to you sometimes!

umm....what'd I do..lets see
...searched for a favourite Swat kats episode available for download ( got it,yey! )

...searched for stuff on 'First of the summer wine'....found it hilarious...although,its pretty tragic that unemployable and highly disastrous fictional British people bring me joy...**sigh**

...lapped up all the tidbits from the Man Utd V Newcastle game...its Red all the way,baby!

...found an ancient buddy from school who claimed he had my winner's certificate of the annual inter-kindergarten frog race contest...whoohoo!

...read Douglas Adams' last recorded blogpiece...may he RIP...what a loss..:(

...took out my angst on all those anti-Mustaine chowderheads who think he was a dick about leaving Metallica.Let the music live,you bastards!

...phew,and found unmorphed and totally bitchin' pics of Ramya Krishna( cut me some slack here,such a testosterone-ridden venture is but natural after all the 'virtual' noesis! )

Nick's a 17-yr old cousin...apparently on a heady overdose of Nietzsche!

Its amazing how u watch urself get spellbound sometime...this was one such occassion!During the course of this convo,i did try to assert a bit of my own noesis..but ended up feelin oh-so-dumb!

btw..'Nick',he said was a nickname for....'nickname'...i felt instantly dumb about my own nickname which ironically reflected my frame of mind anyway!
....
Nick says:lots of work

Nick says:i do have a paper to run you know

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:whoa...thats so cool!

Nick says:you did know that, din't ya

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:nopes...new info...i'm tempted to say ur belying ur age...although,on second thought,that'd be apple-polishing!

Nick says:okay..lol!

Nick says:it is a heck of a job being the editor

Nick says:new ideas have to be mixed with tradition

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:brilliant...u r the editor...so..wuzz da paper called?

Nick says:well it belongs to the ICFAI

Nick says:and it is called the financial analyst

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:oh...sooper man

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:howcha get to be da editor?

Nick says:well just got picked i suppose

Nick says:but i do get a good pay

Nick says:it's the cash that keeps me going

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:kewl...i actually used to be a moderator of this magazine...but it was honorary...

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:so i quit!

Nick says:oops

Nick says:if you did get the kinda money i get you woudn't

Nick says:betcha

Nick says:so what else is happenning

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:not much....loads to study dude...sick o' it

Nick says:well same case here but i have got a way out of it

Nick says:i just chuck the books out of the window

Nick says:when you don't have em, you cant read em

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:kickarse attitude!

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:incredibly highhanded though

Nick says:that is the way i am

Nick says:well I know I won't fail anyway

Nick says:i am not that dumb

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:rite...sure as hell u aint dumb...

Nick says:well you gotta live your life your way man you just get 1 chance

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:rite

Nick says:so why waste it on studying

Nick says:man with all the crap we get

Nick says:i can find a man in five minutes who knows that crap

Nick says:and if there is none what is the goddam internet for

Nick says:study they say

Nick says:that is what i call a perfect definition of redundant data

Nick says:so do ya agree

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:totally with ya on that mayte!

Nick says:cool

Nick says:keep that within you and you will be a millionare

Nick says:i was just quoting the words of the famous " Henry Ford"

Nick says:and the subsitute for all this shit is hard work

Nick says:and a positive mind

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:precisely....u did a crashcourse on theology or somethn'?

Nick says:no just plain man management and simple logic

Nick says:but unluckily the most uncommon sense is common sense

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:yea....i read that in chandamama when i was like 7!

Nick says:and that is why we say god save the world

Nick says:but they forget if they go through history man created god

Nick says:or they forget the most common sanskrit quote " aham brahmhasmi". Meaning
god is within you

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:suddenly in love with da way u think!

Nick says:i wish the whole world just sat down to think

Nick says:that would like do me a favour

Nick says:i have just assumed that 95% of the brains were misplaced

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:do u belong to the remaining 5%?

Nick says:i hope so

Nick says:i use my inner self more than the brains

Nick says: i know myself well

Nick says:that is the path to sanity

Nick says:buddha i guess said that

Nick says:but i am not sure

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:spare me....

Nick says:bored?

Nick says:well sorry man that is just me

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:not bored....jus' plain bewildered by the grostaquely elaborate verbiage

Nick says:just know yourself well...that is the key to your very existance

Nick says:i guess that is the cheat code to the god mode in the game of life

Nick says:i have learnt it the hard way but try it you may find a secret tunnel or a shortcut

Nick says:or better still follow the easy way , life outside the matrix

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:wisely said....btw dazz mah fave flick todate

Nick says:what

Nick says:????? plz translate that to english for the poor sons of this earth

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:naw...Matrix is my fave film todate

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:u seen it yet?

Nick says:230 times

Nick says:lived it 230 times

Nick says:lot of sense

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:tell me abt it..damn near the best there is!

Nick says:ya..kay sera sera..it was just a movie

Nick says:wait till you realise the matrix of life

Nick says:you would throw that thing into the garbage

ParaNoia Da Norm! says:ur mah God,man

Nick says:no , i am just human

Nick says:the difference is that i do what i want to

Nick says:or else i am dead

Nick says:i am dead once i am not me

Nick says:and that is what i tell myself

....

At this point,i felt a wave of indecision as to whether he or I was the chowderhead...eventually decided I was and asked him to spare me...when suddenly,inferiority-induced angst forced me to say somethn to the effect of...
"go burn a tree while watching what shirt pocket your glasses go in to make it look like you have a heart."

yeah,i know i'm a jerk!

Rock on!

For some reason,of late..I've begun to avoid referring to my past..you know that yearning to relive the old memories et al. Perhaps,on a subconscious level..I've embraced the latin motto 'Carpe Diem'...wherein I get to seize the day as it were...live for the moment!

I was wondering if nostalgia was a level of braindom today...when Dad switched on ESPN to catch some classic cricket match played aeons ago.It was damn near condescending how this had me spiralling back to those days when i was this sport-obsessed pre-teen.
Watching this game now on tv,I was absolutely stunned that I could actually recall some commentary pieces word to word,let alone every shot played by Sachin,the kingpin!Back then,we had this lil' contest type thing in my buddy-gang where the guy who reproduced the most accurate commentary got to be captain for the day in cricket that evening!
Happy times,i thought...and thoughts of childhood came to mind...about how i peed on the streets every now and then and felt good abt it...of how I did easy crossword with a mug of self-made capachino and felt dandy...about how i didn't know what loude ke bal meant and felt righteous..and so much more!
I guess i'll make a bigger list when i imagine death..and frantically realise how much there is that i'd like to express!
haha...look its time for Edd,Ed and Eddy again!
peace,
kid-at-heart

Therefore I Am...Hypochondriac

"If God brings you to it,He will bring you through"
I'd got an e-mail bearing the aforementioned words about a couple of months ago and I remember the desired enlivening effect it had on me.I'm a genetic thiest and always have been fairly spiritual.But of late,I kinda get the feeling that I'm doubting my credibility in God.I understand that its incredibly high-handed,but in my defence,I'm just another victim of consequence.My 2-year old niece ( sister's daughter ) was involved in a bit of an accident about 4 days ago...courtesy a carelessly flung flask of really hot water...yup..:(Half-awake, she apparently tripped on the belt of the flask lid, fell over with the water ( trust me it was hot) tumbling down right on her.She sustained burns all along her upper left body,save for the face.Yes,shocking. She was discharged from the hospital yesterday after 2 days on drips,painkillers and sedatives.Does a 2-year old innocent infant deserve this?I heard a lot of people thanking God it wasn't worse...whoa,get your asses off your heads,people...ain't this enough?? Is it just me or does everyone tend to find it hard to 'Believe' in tougher times?I really hope this didn't turn out as some kind of blasphemy crash course...cos I really want to get back into the 'stereotype' bracket where u get to turn to someone for miracles..Divine Intervention,as u have it.
I wrote this piece just for me actually.Man,a blog is up there with the best outlets ever to exercise the right to expression!I gotta go change a diaper right now,Peace ( or not...wotever )A confused Believer