Thursday, September 21, 2006


I was away writing poems. Really!
I'm now a failed poet though. See, every novelist wants to write poetry first, finds he can't and instead writes a short story. He finds that a short story is about as demanding as a poem, gives up and writes a novel. And failing at that, only then does he take up blogging back again.

I just got back from another dinner party. Another friend, feeling particularly generous and deciding the treat is on him. Its been so long since I paid for my food, its stopped being funny!
Not that I'm complaining about free food. Its just that the first few times you're treated to free food seem good. My stance back then was : right, so I graduated. I'm ignorant about my immediete future. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo, I'm living a blissful life. While I'm at it, why not eat?

But gradually, you get into a strange phase. Its one of those phases that makes you look like someone who just stepped into a theater from the afternoon sun, running late for a movie. The sense of momentary haplessness, those initial tumultous seconds of finding your seat without stumbling. A sudden awakening that not everything is blissful, not always at any rate! In time, confusion precipitates to a pessimistic sense of inadequacy.
Small digression. I was at a cafe the other day, when I was approached by a girl from the Handwriting Institute who gave me a piece of paper on which to write. From the slants and curves of my rather abysmal handwriting, she would take a jab at my general deportment. Apparently, I'm easily depressed. And also a particularly logical and pragmatic thinker. But that'd be too big a digression for now!

Lists serve as anti-depressants for me. I think its worth feeling depressed atleast to listen to some songs I listed:

5. Down in a hole - Alice in Chains
4. Trouble - Coldplay
3. Black - Pearl Jam
2. Hum bewafa - Kishore Da
1. Why does it always rain on me? - Travis

To cut a long story short, the phase being a phase passed. The light from the big screen has guided me to my seat, for how oblique and metaphorical that sounds! At long last, I'm employed! Haw haw. Climaxing in a cinematic catharisis, so to speak. All the world's a stage, innit!
Guess what song's on winamp: Wake me up when September ends.
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