Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Its well past midnight. Its one of those times when the eerie silence has hardly an effect on me. One of those nights where I'm cramming the hell out of a monster-sized mess of mutant carcass that ever went by the name of 'text book'.
The thought of my future bearing a strong resemblence to a limo-wreck grips me to go at it like a man possessed.
But as it turns out, I'm far too easily bored by even Reader's Digest to be interested in Data Communications for too long !

So it is but natural that my mental wanderlust instincts begin to kick in. I try not to give in, curtailing freewill and all...but believe you me, its hard.
Its hard to abstain from getting up and make yourself a hot mug of coffee, from turning on the computer thats just an arm-stretch away, from picking up that inviting copy of Rave's latest edition, from turning on the telly to catch some Man Utd action...and generally not indulge in something that'd make you lose focus.
God's incidently in that pitiful mood and grants me the focus. Its all back on track...with me putting up a proud chest, happy with my little feat when suddenly God says, "aah good...but thats it".
There's suddenly an outburst of delirium , lights go on next door and there's loud laughter and words suggesting amusement. I lend my ears to the ensuing happy chaos as it were.

Amidst the muffled expressions of stupefaction and all the sappy soul coughing, I eventually made out what happened. Apparently, the neighbours' 1 year son pooped and uttered the holy 'first babble'...I could hear it going something like 'kakka..kakka'....yuck, but well....
Alright, I welcomed this comic relief to some extent...but to listen to them go on and on about it for a solid 20 minutes is just too much to take. Eventually, it was enough to make me think of stuff like how my life wasn't quite hanging in balance about how I fared the next day. So I did my impression of the 'Art of Shredding' riff and closed the book.

Needless to say, it didn't go half well. In my defence, my neighbour pooping was what brought my "Data Communication Breakdown". (hail Led Zeppelin)

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Call-centre Racism (Belated Angst)

Get a load of this

I had no issues with the American lifestyle except with how it is a touch too oblivous to the emotions of the rest of the world.
But this is just more testimony to my increasingly accurate belief that 'American Culture' is just about the most bindaas oxymoron there's ever been!
Go ahead and sue my ass for being judgemental...I'll just remain happy that I ain't being chicken about putting this on the www!

P.S: There's a good chance they've put the site on hiatus, fearing virtual riots....but keep chekin'!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Passing thoughts...

"Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind this woman is an expensively-clad ass."

"Every average 19-year old Indian male will believe he makes the best Maggi on the planet."

I do begin to doubt the subtlety in my humour sometimes....oh well, its just nice to know I'm taking the exam misfortunes fairly well...naaw, I'm just playin...its all good!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Ascendent Narcissm

Me: I still can't get over the RX tragedy.

Pal (who rides a Pulsar): oh get a life dude, every Tom, Dick and Harry rides an RX these days. Do you really wanna be one of 'em...

Me: well no...but I sure as hell don't wanna be another Mohammad that rides a Pulsar either!

Pal: what??

Me: didn't you get it?

Pal: no..

Me: *sigh*..its so lonely out here on the tower of indecipherable speech. I kinda feel like Calvin.

ok so I can be a totally conceited jerk if I want to, but cut me some slack here...what kind of a moron doesn't know that Mohammad's the most common name around?

P.S: Sorry to make that 'indecipherable speech' line the object of plagiarism here, Mr.Malcovich.


Thursday, January 13, 2005

yeah..thats the prospective me.
The buggers a.k.a exams are here and as I lie here savouring the impending terror, I feel myself increasingly unguided by freewill!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


..is henceforth the official abbreviation for Spiritual Orgasm Syndrome.
So Morse and Stratovarius can both kiss my ass..haw haw!!

Now you know what kinda mood I'm in...thats right, its time for propagation of cheap gyan. This one goes out to all the animals out there...well almost all..;) !

Cheap Gyan:

"They say you cannot remain a virgin forever because life fucks you every now and then. But then again, life's a bitch and if anything its only you who fucks it up."

hey, that wasn't half cheap!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Why I got slapped last week...

me (pissed with the way my lab exam went): This blows maga, didn't get the output for the interfacing program..

she: haha..I didn't get it either...just manipulated the values...yey

me (even more pissed): yeah well if I had a couple of x-chromosomes, I'd have been just as manipulative...

Friday, January 07, 2005

As an analogy to the concept of multiprogrammed systems in real life, my Operating System text book spake thus:

"...this idea is common in other life situations. A lawyer does not work for only one client at a time. While one case is waiting to go to trial or have papers typed, the lawyer can work on another case. If he has enough clients, the lawyer will never be idle for lack of work. (Idle lawyer tend to become politicians, so there is a certain social value in keeping lawyers busy!)"

This is arguably the most humourous line that an engineering text book has had to offer!
Kudos to Gagne

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

My latest dialogue with Webster, my dictionary left me feeling insanely dumb. Get a load of this:

Me: What the heck is 'polynesia'?

Webster: islands in the eastern part of oceania.

Me: Oceania??

Webster: large group of islands including Melanesia and Micronesia.

Me: machcha, even your break-it-down is so friggin' complicated!

Webster: Melanesia refers to the islands in the southwestern part of Oceania.

Me: aah,thats helpful...and whats Micronesia?

Webster: islands in the northwestern part of Oceania.

Me: aaargh..sonnuva...alright, give me alternate meanings for Oceania..

Webster: Malay archipelago

Me: yappa....thats all aa? That took me 5 full minutes...well all in good light I guess!
**ponders for a minute and puts up zombie shitface**

Webster: yeah yeah, go ahead and ask me what archipelago means...

Me: **sheepish grin**

Webster: ugh, don't let me stoop down to your level again..and keep an inch or two out of kickin' distance...

Me: oh yeah? I bet you can't find the humour in the thought that...'Satan' becomes 'Santa' on anagramatizing...can ya..can ya?

Webster: whohoo...big incentive for you,huh..

I got a new dictionary today.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005


Thats it..its official.
As of today,I happen to have absolutely NO PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All I've ever lived the latter part of my life for has been taken...for good.
Its all one big consipracy theory , I just know it. The apple of my eye, the electrifying but oh-so-elusive prima donna has finally drifted right out of my life.

uh huh, thats right. It is the end of the road-reigning era as we know it. The bastards are to blame here...the bastards who've decided to stop producing RX-135 **shudders**

Where do I go from here, will I ever wriggle out of the shock I'm in right now, my leather-clad, RX-loving alter-ego is bereaved. Why wasn't I sane enough to buy THE BIKE earlier?
I didn't see this coming (and I ain't myopic)...which is why there's no fall-back option now either...whom am I gonna look forward to ride now...damn, this is too cruel!
Sorry, allow me come back with vengeance, 'too cruel' is euphemism for saying this system is just a bastardised bunch of sadistic not-so-sacred whores.
My resolution list is hereof slightly amended, the f-rule goes out of the window to facilitate this:

yeah, I feel better now..**sigh**

cheers (or not...whatever)

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Every year is getting shorter
Never seemed to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines

...yeah,I do find myself 'hanging on in desparation' quietly enough to tell you that its sure as hell not just the English way!

Here I am again, lying in the foreshadow of another year, looking down from the culminating celestial point of Mt.Monotony where people think of the sickeningly familiar things to welcome the impending mess of more crap-ridden drudgery in life.

There are just way too many depressants around this time round to actually go out and have some fun. Dude,NS you struck the perfect chord in asking the 'hottest dance troupes' and the yekkachikki dhamal 'paardie animals' to shove it...you really did..lol!

haha...it does gives me a kick to be as misanthropic as I want to be in here!

I don't specifically care for resolutions...but I did make a mental note to do some stuff. Excluding the personal psychobabble, the list runs kind of like this:

1. In an exotic show of patriotism, I want to prove once and for all that foreign shampoos and beauty aids are made from aborted babies.

2. I want to make subliminal messages in contraceptive ads more effective and not outlawed.

3. In an expansive vegan-friendly drive,I want to deliver a fascistic message that eating lots of chicken fast food cause south Indian males to grow breasts.

4. I want to make the f word a lot less used...its a pro-paediatric move for proper mental development of children.

5. I want to meet Portuguese people.

6. I want to be abducted by space alien Captain Spiff and released after humans pay a ransom,Laloo.

7. I want to try and understand Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

8. I want to stomach the lesser forms of music ( anything not metal ).

9. I want to go out on a date that costs me less than Rs.20.

10. I want to study harder. ( yeah my blog, my anti-climax )

Have A Rockin New Year!

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