My latest dialogue with Webster, my dictionary left me feeling insanely dumb. Get a load of this:

Me: What the heck is 'polynesia'?

Webster: islands in the eastern part of oceania.

Me: Oceania??

Webster: large group of islands including Melanesia and Micronesia.

Me: machcha, even your break-it-down is so friggin' complicated!

Webster: Melanesia refers to the islands in the southwestern part of Oceania.

Me: aah,thats helpful...and whats Micronesia?

Webster: islands in the northwestern part of Oceania.

Me: aaargh..sonnuva...alright, give me alternate meanings for Oceania..

Webster: Malay archipelago

Me: yappa....thats all aa? That took me 5 full minutes...well all in good light I guess!
**ponders for a minute and puts up zombie shitface**

Webster: yeah yeah, go ahead and ask me what archipelago means...

Me: **sheepish grin**

Webster: ugh, don't let me stoop down to your level again..and keep an inch or two out of kickin' distance...

Me: oh yeah? I bet you can't find the humour in the thought that...'Satan' becomes 'Santa' on anagramatizing...can ya..can ya?

Webster: whohoo...big incentive for you,huh..

I got a new dictionary today.