And say one of your greatest fears in life is being backstabbed by people you trust the most, people whom you live your life with on a daily basis. The concept of a backstab is admittedly subjective, if not warped. Suppose there is this project you are supposed to deal with for a time period. You implicitly assume that one of your best pals is going to pick you as a partner. When he doesn't and instead goes for others in the same gang, you interpret it as a backstab.
Here onwards you are variantly angry and depressed. So you resort to severe sulking and deliberate withdrawal.
I think mankind in general has a severe ego problem. Lets face it, a lot of people find this bizarre pleasure in sulking. We atomise our mind into thinking we are perfectly, absolutely, totally correct on all counts and it is upto the rest of the world to realise its mistake and send us huge love boxes with apologies, hugs and kisses. We seek solace in a kind of ethereal solitude for a bit, conveniently freeing the muse to care about and laugh with the very people we've long cared about and laughed with.
By the way, I think the term 'cold war' was coined because there was a lot of unbroken ice around. But coming to think about it, it can as well be the other way round. Brain-food, while I wait for the death of the wrong desires.
So, I saw Rang De Basanti. Yes its a terrific picture. It did to me what it did to most other viewers and reviewers around. It moved me and it made me think. Although it painted a comfortably sad mood-potrait in my mind, it didn't make me cry. And just as well! There is this part in the movie where DJ becomes soulfully reflective about the present being the time of their lives. About nothing staying the same with his buddies. About each of them taking their own respective paths after college. About no part of the prevalent fun coming around again.
Ordinarily I'd have flashed a sentimental look toward my friends at this juncture or even shed a tear. But I didn't. The ego and withdrawal instincts controlled me.
No this is not where I want to be. I want to rid myself of this stupid pointless fake apathy. I want to laugh with them again. I know I care, and that they care. I want to get back to expressing it. But I also wish that when that happens, they reciprocate equally explicitly.
Not because it massages my ego, but because it really breaks the ice.
Here onwards you are variantly angry and depressed. So you resort to severe sulking and deliberate withdrawal.
I think mankind in general has a severe ego problem. Lets face it, a lot of people find this bizarre pleasure in sulking. We atomise our mind into thinking we are perfectly, absolutely, totally correct on all counts and it is upto the rest of the world to realise its mistake and send us huge love boxes with apologies, hugs and kisses. We seek solace in a kind of ethereal solitude for a bit, conveniently freeing the muse to care about and laugh with the very people we've long cared about and laughed with.
By the way, I think the term 'cold war' was coined because there was a lot of unbroken ice around. But coming to think about it, it can as well be the other way round. Brain-food, while I wait for the death of the wrong desires.
So, I saw Rang De Basanti. Yes its a terrific picture. It did to me what it did to most other viewers and reviewers around. It moved me and it made me think. Although it painted a comfortably sad mood-potrait in my mind, it didn't make me cry. And just as well! There is this part in the movie where DJ becomes soulfully reflective about the present being the time of their lives. About nothing staying the same with his buddies. About each of them taking their own respective paths after college. About no part of the prevalent fun coming around again.
Ordinarily I'd have flashed a sentimental look toward my friends at this juncture or even shed a tear. But I didn't. The ego and withdrawal instincts controlled me.
No this is not where I want to be. I want to rid myself of this stupid pointless fake apathy. I want to laugh with them again. I know I care, and that they care. I want to get back to expressing it. But I also wish that when that happens, they reciprocate equally explicitly.
Not because it massages my ego, but because it really breaks the ice.
posted by Manu at
10:03 pm
11 Comments:
*hugs*
it's just a phase we all go through..
and when it comes back, the human-ness, it surges through you like an electric jolt, and you begin to feel that smile again..
apathy's overrated.
and flick that glance soon.
i'm sure they were looking from the corner of their eyes,
to see if you flicked them a glance.
couldn't help but smile at the post.
i know you'll crack into one once you read this:
chunchi.
hampi.
heh.
quit acting like life gave you the mother of all wedgies.
We all wish for that bit of laughter and reciprocation, don't we? Maybe it's time to change it NOW and not just hope for a better tomorrow...
And then get down to wondering that even though we have given someone the best of what we are, why couldn't we give them that bit of extra-normal awareness about life that we built, collected and now possess?
That extra bit of awareness which they don't have is just what prevents them from reciprocating the way we want them to. And that's why we sometimes fail to see that what they give is the best of what they are. Just that some of us cherish our moments with a multi-faceted drug dose of reality unlike the rest of us. Now who should we point the finger at?
PS : Hold on... May the Higher Powers degenerate a solution wrt all variables this Saturday... :-)
The more you expect from people the more you are dissapointed. Experinces have taught me that when we give too much of our affection to others somehow even the tiniest thing can hurt us. And yet we are unable to stop caring about people and expecting unconditional love from everyone around. what can i say...we're only human.
Rang De Basanti is definitely a great movie! Moved me greatly. And set me thinking as well...which is great considering the kind of hindi movies around these days.
This has suddenly made me want to find an old photograph...taken in a time of flux, and in a place which only exists in memory now.
Both fading, no doubt.
:-)
Back-stabbed u feel .... perplexed they are. There's this minute yet massive silence that's killing friendships, not entirely but a tiny infection can kill it all. Ego problem no doubt. Expectations? no denying that too. Harmony has struck me not too long ago. Its only just a phase, just dont get too cynical. Its over leave it at that.
The present's awesome and its changing too soon for u to spoil it all. MAJA MAADUVATHAKKADDU
sita: :-) certainly hope so. *hug*
finchie: Heh. I'd like to believe they were looking too. And no neither chunchi nor hampi ever seemed remotely funny to me. Esp when its not Percy's who's sayin it. Lol! Btw mother of all wedgies? New. Hilarious!
AC: Maybe that extra bit of awareness is just way too abstract a thought to be communicated. Food for thought. We'd much like them to be eating out of our hands all the time too. Hehe how ironic! Time for the De-gen!
ujju: funny you should say that. I was reading this when you commented thus. Similar lines. And i tend to agree with the hindi movie rant!
NS: :-) get some scotch too. will greatly catalyse the delve into nostalgie!
petro: perplexed you say? really? i'm not being cynical. maybe self-derogatory, defi not cynical. haan maja maduvathakkadu. :-)
Awareness is not an abstract thought. It's being on a different plane of consciousness. What say?
no, agree with manu.
the concept of awareness is abstract.
expressing the ability to have this particular knowledge - is difficult
as compared to expressing the freaking knowledge.
catch the (d)rift?
Naaa... The ability to ground these thoughts in sound logic is what's abstract... Not the ability to communicate these thoughts. The concept can be communicated easily, but not with sound logic accompanying it.
The whole point of creating something abstract is to find a simplified way of expressing beauty. Maybe that's just what we are doing here...
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